11 days and counting until I fulfill an ultimate goal. There is so much going on in my life that could have made it so easy to back out...but that's not me. I'm going to follow this through and be able to say, "I did it", no matter what. Thanks God, Mom, Dad and especially Mackenzie, as sick as you are, your words from the couch, "you have to go, that's all you've been talking about", echoed in my head until I officially registered your dad and me for the Boilermaker!
With all that's been going on (Ian's MRI, Mackenzie's Mono, year end for work, remodeling the kitchen, need I go on???), it's hard to believe that we have 11 days to the Boilermaker! I know we're ready...we've done 8.72 miles in good time (not record, but that's not what we're after, remember?) We secured our motel tonight...the luxurious "Passport Inn, Utica"! Can't wait.
We almost forfeited our venture. We almost convinced ourselves (yes, including my hubby because he would have done anything I wanted) that all of our training could be put towards a 1/2 marathon or an event closer to home...not so fast. I can't wait to tell about the experience. I can't wait for my children and parents to be proud of me. I can't wait to sip that Saranac beer at the finish line!
So as we battle the daily "stuff" that life throws at us, we look forward to our 9.3 mile run on July 12, same day as my mom's birthday...happy birthday Mom, your daughter is running!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Recipe for reality
Here is a good ol fashioned recipe for reality...in addition to reality, it is sure to induce irritability, stress and minor break downs! Good luck, and enjoy!
Ingredients:
Family (including but not limited to children, spouse, parents, siblings, in laws)
Illness
Friends
Co-workers (you know who you are)
Pets
A House (including large yard and pool)
Dirty laundry
Worry
A Career
1. Take one sick 15 year old daughter who has been on the couch for the past 72 hours with a fever, sore throat, swollen glands and official diagnosis of mono...at least we know she will get better.
2. Try and forget you were just trying to figure out what the hell you were going to do if your 11 year old boy had a brain tumor...that's old news, thank God no tumor!
3. Be supportive of a hubby that has been remodeling your kitchen for the past 6 months as finally the tile floor is being put down. (swear words included)...I love my new kitchen.
4. Try not to worry about your mother and father in-law as they are making their move to retirement, 600 miles away...at least it's within driving distance.
5. Comfort a few friends. (one that is trying to find happiness, one that is building a new house, one that has her own in-law worries, one that has her own in-law coming to stay for a month)...I am so thankful for my friends.
6. Mix in your home away from home (work) and make sure you find a bit of frustration in every co-worker. Listen to everyone. Sympathize and empathize...my co-workers are truly my 2nd family.
7. Throw in 2 barking dogs and a cat that can't help but to pee on your new living room (playroom) carpet...what would we do without our furry friends?
8. Add weeds...and a beautiful yard to groom.
9. For flavor, add many, many loads of dirty laundry. (don't try and figure out where it all comes from. This is something that will never be figured out.) I am lucky to have a washer and dryer and tons of clothes.
10. Add a few sleepless nights...in a big comfortable bed.
11. Take a job you love, put some pressure on it since you are not making your numbers and take away an employee so you have to do the job of two....so thankful to have a job.
It is so easy to turn a gripe into a blessing. Thank you God for giving me stuff to bitch about!
Ingredients:
Family (including but not limited to children, spouse, parents, siblings, in laws)
Illness
Friends
Co-workers (you know who you are)
Pets
A House (including large yard and pool)
Dirty laundry
Worry
A Career
1. Take one sick 15 year old daughter who has been on the couch for the past 72 hours with a fever, sore throat, swollen glands and official diagnosis of mono...at least we know she will get better.
2. Try and forget you were just trying to figure out what the hell you were going to do if your 11 year old boy had a brain tumor...that's old news, thank God no tumor!
3. Be supportive of a hubby that has been remodeling your kitchen for the past 6 months as finally the tile floor is being put down. (swear words included)...I love my new kitchen.
4. Try not to worry about your mother and father in-law as they are making their move to retirement, 600 miles away...at least it's within driving distance.
5. Comfort a few friends. (one that is trying to find happiness, one that is building a new house, one that has her own in-law worries, one that has her own in-law coming to stay for a month)...I am so thankful for my friends.
6. Mix in your home away from home (work) and make sure you find a bit of frustration in every co-worker. Listen to everyone. Sympathize and empathize...my co-workers are truly my 2nd family.
7. Throw in 2 barking dogs and a cat that can't help but to pee on your new living room (playroom) carpet...what would we do without our furry friends?
8. Add weeds...and a beautiful yard to groom.
9. For flavor, add many, many loads of dirty laundry. (don't try and figure out where it all comes from. This is something that will never be figured out.) I am lucky to have a washer and dryer and tons of clothes.
10. Add a few sleepless nights...in a big comfortable bed.
11. Take a job you love, put some pressure on it since you are not making your numbers and take away an employee so you have to do the job of two....so thankful to have a job.
It is so easy to turn a gripe into a blessing. Thank you God for giving me stuff to bitch about!
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Dear Dad,
Dear Dad,
Remember when you were carving the turkey on Thanksgiving and the turkey was full of air and you got really, really mad? I'll never forget it. I think I was 7.
Remember when you woke me up in the middle of the night to have me try out the "Merri Mobile"? We waited forever for that motor to come in the mail...It was so great that I could get around the house without being carried. Maybe I was in 2nd grade?
Remember when we drove to Myrtle Beach and half way through the trip the engine of your truck caught on fire and you had to jump into the hood of the truck to blow out the flames? You cracked some ribs, right? and we carried on and you gave your family the best vacation ever. I was 13 and met the boy of my dreams...you didn't know that part.
Remember when you lectured me for 3 hours about drinking under the bleachers at school? The principal caught us with a Molson Light in my backpack and called you. I was in 9th grade.
Remember when I graduated college and you shared the cookie secret? I'll never tell the secret of how you don't get crumbs on your shirt until my kids graduate college.
Remember when I told you I was getting married to a boy after only knowing him for a few months? Remember when you tried to hold me back at the top of the hill as we were supposed to start walking down the isle?
Remember holding Mackenzie for the first time, Grandpa? Then Ian? I do. I will always have those images in my mind...and so many more.
You Dad have been my rock. You give me the best advice as I try to be the parent to my children as you were to me. You bring a calming sense of reality as I deal with all of the issues and concerns that come with raising kids. I hope you know how much you influence each and every day of my life.
I love you Dad. Happy Fathers Day.
Remember when you were carving the turkey on Thanksgiving and the turkey was full of air and you got really, really mad? I'll never forget it. I think I was 7.
Remember when you woke me up in the middle of the night to have me try out the "Merri Mobile"? We waited forever for that motor to come in the mail...It was so great that I could get around the house without being carried. Maybe I was in 2nd grade?
Remember when we drove to Myrtle Beach and half way through the trip the engine of your truck caught on fire and you had to jump into the hood of the truck to blow out the flames? You cracked some ribs, right? and we carried on and you gave your family the best vacation ever. I was 13 and met the boy of my dreams...you didn't know that part.
Remember when you lectured me for 3 hours about drinking under the bleachers at school? The principal caught us with a Molson Light in my backpack and called you. I was in 9th grade.
Remember when I graduated college and you shared the cookie secret? I'll never tell the secret of how you don't get crumbs on your shirt until my kids graduate college.
Remember when I told you I was getting married to a boy after only knowing him for a few months? Remember when you tried to hold me back at the top of the hill as we were supposed to start walking down the isle?
Remember holding Mackenzie for the first time, Grandpa? Then Ian? I do. I will always have those images in my mind...and so many more.
You Dad have been my rock. You give me the best advice as I try to be the parent to my children as you were to me. You bring a calming sense of reality as I deal with all of the issues and concerns that come with raising kids. I hope you know how much you influence each and every day of my life.
I love you Dad. Happy Fathers Day.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Decisions, decisions...
The day has come. Our 15 year old daughter has asked us if she can go out on a date with a boy. I was cool...kind of. I asked all the right questions, "What's his name?", "How old is he?", "What movie will you be seeing?", "What time is the movie and what time will you be home?"...She will be a Junior in 3 months. She will be driving soon, she will be looking at colleges, she will be responsible for all of her actions and decisions...but for now, I am in control and I find it hard to say yes. Will my friends judge me if I let her go? Will my mom question my decision? I know we've done a great job raising her, but still, she is only 15! (16 in 2 months!)
Dad's not doing too well either. He poured a cocktail as we were discussing the issue. As I giggled at the uncomfortableness, Dad got a little red. There was a bit of fist clenching and grunting behind the scenes going on as well. Dad demanded the who, what, where and when. I have to say that I was impressed with how he handled it all...only a few references to cement shoes and deep holes to be dug.
We told Ian (our 11 year old) that if we say yes he can be in his rarest form...he's great at freaking out guests! The boy will have to meet the family, of course. We will need a detailed plan of the evening.
So as we are left with the decision to let our baby girl go on her first official date, we can't help but feel how out of control we are...and/or will be.
Dad's not doing too well either. He poured a cocktail as we were discussing the issue. As I giggled at the uncomfortableness, Dad got a little red. There was a bit of fist clenching and grunting behind the scenes going on as well. Dad demanded the who, what, where and when. I have to say that I was impressed with how he handled it all...only a few references to cement shoes and deep holes to be dug.
We told Ian (our 11 year old) that if we say yes he can be in his rarest form...he's great at freaking out guests! The boy will have to meet the family, of course. We will need a detailed plan of the evening.
So as we are left with the decision to let our baby girl go on her first official date, we can't help but feel how out of control we are...and/or will be.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Out of Control
I remember when my my daughter, 3 days old, had to get the bottom of her foot pricked for a mandatory newborn screening. I cried as hard as she did. I can remember every vaccine visit...even the one time she didn't cry, (I still did) I think she was 6 months old...we thought it was odd, but good. The time she dragged her thumb across a broken window and we had to make the decision to take her for stitches or just wrap it up tight...she still has a scar...she was 2. I remember her at 4 years old having to go for a chest x-ray to rule out pneumonia, we gave breathing treatments every 4 hours until she got better. Strep throat, chicken pox (and cutting off her ponytail as her dad slept), multiple bumps, bruises and scrapes...Now that she is 15 (almost 16) I still worry about her health and safety whenever she is not in my sight.
I remember when my son (1 years old) tumbled from the top of the stairs to the bottom, slowly and almost gracefully until the splat on the hardwood floor...he was fine, I was not. There have been many times when he was not fine, when an incident led to an ER visit and a diagnosis of a broken bone (or two)...this is to be expected when you have brittle bone disease...we've learned to manage our frailness.
Children heal and forget about shots, broken bones, cuts, scrapes and even pneumonia. They forget about the time they put their hand on the hot stove, got stung by a bee or slipped on a wet floor. A parent does not.
I will never forget the day, June 16, 2009, when my child was given an MRI to rule out "something" that could cause a sudden case of lazy eye. I will equally never forget the day, June 17, 2009, when I received the message that the MRI was normal.
There are certain controls that a parent is given, certain safety measures they can take and rules they can enforce. And then there are certain things that are not in our control. It is these uncontrollables that will give us our faith, our reason for believing in God. It is these uncontrollables that will also give us our distinguished greys, multiple wrinkles and high blood pressure!
I remember when my son (1 years old) tumbled from the top of the stairs to the bottom, slowly and almost gracefully until the splat on the hardwood floor...he was fine, I was not. There have been many times when he was not fine, when an incident led to an ER visit and a diagnosis of a broken bone (or two)...this is to be expected when you have brittle bone disease...we've learned to manage our frailness.
Children heal and forget about shots, broken bones, cuts, scrapes and even pneumonia. They forget about the time they put their hand on the hot stove, got stung by a bee or slipped on a wet floor. A parent does not.
I will never forget the day, June 16, 2009, when my child was given an MRI to rule out "something" that could cause a sudden case of lazy eye. I will equally never forget the day, June 17, 2009, when I received the message that the MRI was normal.
There are certain controls that a parent is given, certain safety measures they can take and rules they can enforce. And then there are certain things that are not in our control. It is these uncontrollables that will give us our faith, our reason for believing in God. It is these uncontrollables that will also give us our distinguished greys, multiple wrinkles and high blood pressure!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Would Mother Approve?
Whatever I do I always have a voice in the back of my mind asking, "would mother approve?" Mom isn't the disapproving type at all. She is the encouraging, supportive, loving type. The perfect Mom. Which makes the answer to the question that much more important.
I've learned so much from my Mom. I've learned to be kind and giving. I've learned that a little selfishness helps you be a better person too. I've learned that even though life can be so very serious, you need to make time for fun. I've learned how to be a good mom, a good wife and dedicated professional. I've also learned that sometimes you can't be perfect in everything you do all of the time, but I didn't learn that from Mom, because she is perfect in everything she does.
Mom read my blog today. I think she approves.
I've learned so much from my Mom. I've learned to be kind and giving. I've learned that a little selfishness helps you be a better person too. I've learned that even though life can be so very serious, you need to make time for fun. I've learned how to be a good mom, a good wife and dedicated professional. I've also learned that sometimes you can't be perfect in everything you do all of the time, but I didn't learn that from Mom, because she is perfect in everything she does.
Mom read my blog today. I think she approves.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Slow Motion
I'm a bit "snappy" at my favorite (besides my kids) person in the world....you wont read this, but sorry Harry. I have so much going on in my mind. In 2 weeks I will say to myself, "thanks for worrying for nothing, my crazy mind just gave me 1000 more gray hairs."
But right now I have a TON going on.
Work; I am not going to make my number unless all the stars align and a minor miracle happens, it's the least of my worries, but the biggest thing I should be concentrating on. I'm trying so hard, working so hard.
My baby boy; We'll be going for an MRI on Tuesday (5 more days) to "rule out" anything that may be causing his "sudden onset of alternating esodeviation"...8 months ago I noticed his left eye pointing in towards his nose. Apparently it is extremely rare for this to happen at 10 years old. I can't help thinking about what they would be looking for. Research tells me that MRI's detect vascular issues and tumors. It's so hard to function...even though the doctor says that they would be very surprised if they found anything. Thanks for the encouragement.
My baby girl; Mackenzie will turn 16 in August. I want that day and her celebration to be everything she hopes for. Her dad (my favorite person in the world besides my kids) is being way too practical. We'll get on the same page, but this week I wont lose a debate. (sorry again babe, even though you will never read this.)
20th High School Reunion on Saturday...just cost me (us) $170.00. I better have fun...sorry if I don't remember your name.
But right now I have a TON going on.
Work; I am not going to make my number unless all the stars align and a minor miracle happens, it's the least of my worries, but the biggest thing I should be concentrating on. I'm trying so hard, working so hard.
My baby boy; We'll be going for an MRI on Tuesday (5 more days) to "rule out" anything that may be causing his "sudden onset of alternating esodeviation"...8 months ago I noticed his left eye pointing in towards his nose. Apparently it is extremely rare for this to happen at 10 years old. I can't help thinking about what they would be looking for. Research tells me that MRI's detect vascular issues and tumors. It's so hard to function...even though the doctor says that they would be very surprised if they found anything. Thanks for the encouragement.
My baby girl; Mackenzie will turn 16 in August. I want that day and her celebration to be everything she hopes for. Her dad (my favorite person in the world besides my kids) is being way too practical. We'll get on the same page, but this week I wont lose a debate. (sorry again babe, even though you will never read this.)
20th High School Reunion on Saturday...just cost me (us) $170.00. I better have fun...sorry if I don't remember your name.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
How much can you fit in one day? Today, I didn't go to church. But I can't say I didn't think about God.
I thanked Him when I was able to bring my kids and my sisters three children (while she was with her other two...yes she has 5) to an all you can eat pancake breakfast for my brother's son's baseball fundraiser. I thanked him when my nephew (Mark) made a joke so funny that it made my son spew milk (and a little mucus) out of his nose. The whole table had a belly ache from laughing so hard...thank you God for making us hurt so good!
I thanked Him when I was able to enjoy the sun on my skin while working. There are not many people that can say that they can work a few hours in the sun while enjoying their children's (and nieces and nephews) belly laughs as they are giggling about who knows what...even if you have to work on a Sunday...Thank you God for my job.
I thanked God today when I had the money to go to the store and buy groceries so I could have a BBQ for a few friends...and then thanked Him for my friends. I thanked Him for my husband who welcomes, loves and appreciates friends as much as I do.
I thanked God when I had the opportunity to be with my daughter and her friends while they looked through my yearbook (Shen Class of 1989) and her yearbook (Shen Class of 2011)...oh how times have changed...but not really. I LOVE laughing with my daughter. Thank you God for laughter and my daughter.
I thanked God when I was able to throw a tennis ball to my beautiful Golden Retriever (Elvis). He thanks you for having people that pay attention to him, that's really all he wants. I also thanked God for my older dog Oreo, who is so passive...if only she didn't poop on the living-room rug.
I thanked God that I have a cute little Seabring Convertible that I can let my daughter's friends borrow (just around the neighborhood) so they can pick up siblings while the parents are enjoying each other's company!
Ian jumping in a chilly pool, sausage and peppers, empty pitchers, black bean burgers, funny music, exploding hot dogs, "I wish I could live here." ...Sunday, June 7, 2009 was a tremendous day to be thankful.
I thanked Him when I was able to bring my kids and my sisters three children (while she was with her other two...yes she has 5) to an all you can eat pancake breakfast for my brother's son's baseball fundraiser. I thanked him when my nephew (Mark) made a joke so funny that it made my son spew milk (and a little mucus) out of his nose. The whole table had a belly ache from laughing so hard...thank you God for making us hurt so good!
I thanked Him when I was able to enjoy the sun on my skin while working. There are not many people that can say that they can work a few hours in the sun while enjoying their children's (and nieces and nephews) belly laughs as they are giggling about who knows what...even if you have to work on a Sunday...Thank you God for my job.
I thanked God today when I had the money to go to the store and buy groceries so I could have a BBQ for a few friends...and then thanked Him for my friends. I thanked Him for my husband who welcomes, loves and appreciates friends as much as I do.
I thanked God when I had the opportunity to be with my daughter and her friends while they looked through my yearbook (Shen Class of 1989) and her yearbook (Shen Class of 2011)...oh how times have changed...but not really. I LOVE laughing with my daughter. Thank you God for laughter and my daughter.
I thanked God when I was able to throw a tennis ball to my beautiful Golden Retriever (Elvis). He thanks you for having people that pay attention to him, that's really all he wants. I also thanked God for my older dog Oreo, who is so passive...if only she didn't poop on the living-room rug.
I thanked God that I have a cute little Seabring Convertible that I can let my daughter's friends borrow (just around the neighborhood) so they can pick up siblings while the parents are enjoying each other's company!
Ian jumping in a chilly pool, sausage and peppers, empty pitchers, black bean burgers, funny music, exploding hot dogs, "I wish I could live here." ...Sunday, June 7, 2009 was a tremendous day to be thankful.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Seven Miles Today
In 5 weeks I will "run" the Boiler Maker in Utica. This is a 15K race (9.3 miles). There will be 10,000 people running and everyone will have their own story. Here's mine:
I wasn't supposed to ever run, as a matter of fact, my parents were prepared by the doctors back in the early 70's when I was born that I may not ever walk. I have osteogenis imperfecta, otherwise known as brittle bone disease. More than a dozen femur fractures and a handful of surgeries, including the insertion of rods through the marrow part of my bones for stabilization leads me to today.
Today I ran 7 miles. Well, I mostly ran 7 miles. I eased up a bit here and there to alleviate the excruciating pain from a foot cramp. I have a slow gait that resembles my endearing childhood nickname, weeble-wobble. I grunt and even swear from time to time. I wont say my time, it's not about the time for me, it's about the finish. I'm not competitive. I am not doing this to win. I even cracked a joke to a young couple pushing a stroller that zoomed by me. I'll admit that I was a little jealous of the "perkiness" they displayed. Her ponytail swinging back and forth and no sign of sweat on either of them...whatever! At that point (4 miles in) I was soaked, panting and could hardly get the words out, "Can I have a ride?" At least they laughed.
My husband ran with me. He was a runner in high school and is the type of person (even though he's 40) that can go out and run 10 miles without training. He trots at what seems to be slow motion so I can keep up. He pushes me when I need it but at the same time he makes sure I'm not pushing myself too hard. I couldn't do it without him.
I wasn't supposed to ever run, as a matter of fact, my parents were prepared by the doctors back in the early 70's when I was born that I may not ever walk. I have osteogenis imperfecta, otherwise known as brittle bone disease. More than a dozen femur fractures and a handful of surgeries, including the insertion of rods through the marrow part of my bones for stabilization leads me to today.
Today I ran 7 miles. Well, I mostly ran 7 miles. I eased up a bit here and there to alleviate the excruciating pain from a foot cramp. I have a slow gait that resembles my endearing childhood nickname, weeble-wobble. I grunt and even swear from time to time. I wont say my time, it's not about the time for me, it's about the finish. I'm not competitive. I am not doing this to win. I even cracked a joke to a young couple pushing a stroller that zoomed by me. I'll admit that I was a little jealous of the "perkiness" they displayed. Her ponytail swinging back and forth and no sign of sweat on either of them...whatever! At that point (4 miles in) I was soaked, panting and could hardly get the words out, "Can I have a ride?" At least they laughed.
My husband ran with me. He was a runner in high school and is the type of person (even though he's 40) that can go out and run 10 miles without training. He trots at what seems to be slow motion so I can keep up. He pushes me when I need it but at the same time he makes sure I'm not pushing myself too hard. I couldn't do it without him.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Halleluiah!
So, I'm not sure why my 11 year boy old doesn't like to be clean. It's amazing to me why we have the same arguments every day too. Nothing changes, you need to take a shower in the evening...this should not be a surprise, this is our routine...and yet, my boy will pull out every excuse to avoid the unavoidable. Kiss the dog, wait for his sister (15 years old), finish his glass of milk, get to the commercial, etc...
As the day winds down, like many, many others (a little frustration, a bit of whining, two kisses goodnight), I look forward to another minor argument in less than 10 hours, the combing of the hair!
And now I hear the shower running, but more importantly I hear my son singing from the shower (upstairs) at the top of his lungs! I think it's the Hallelujah song, and it makes me chuckle.
As the day winds down, like many, many others (a little frustration, a bit of whining, two kisses goodnight), I look forward to another minor argument in less than 10 hours, the combing of the hair!
And now I hear the shower running, but more importantly I hear my son singing from the shower (upstairs) at the top of his lungs! I think it's the Hallelujah song, and it makes me chuckle.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)