Gaining Emotion

I can't wait to get back to work tomorrow!  OK, that may be the overstatement of the century, but for the first time in a long time I have found something to really be excited about.  Sorry if that sounds totally awful!  I'm a happy person and I love my life, ask anyone close to me. I think most my age can relate to feeling of being on autopilot for years. For us, (hubby and I) we have worked so hard for the past 20 years to make sure we and our children have had everything from the basics (food on the table and roof over our head) to our family vacations to Disney, 2 Caribbean Cruises, condos on the beach and luxury camps in the Adirondacks.  9 years ago we traded our modest 3 bedroom raised ranch in an outlying town for a 2600 square foot colonial in a "desired neighborhood".

I wouldn't' have traded one second and I certainly have no regrets. I relish the memories of my children taking their first steps, their first cries even. We anxiously awaited for their next steps in life...soft food, pear juice, then apple juice...then no more bottles, on to sippy cups and potty training...The graduation from cribs to big girl and big boy beds, Mackenzie sleeping on our floor when she was 2, and then 5 years later her brother sleeping on her floor in her room.  I remember first days of pre-school, my daughter mooning all of Georgia (sorry Mick), Ian eating an ant in 2nd grade and me getting a call from the nurse...elementary school plays, girl scouts, boy scouts, (although it was really Brownies and Cub Scouts), so much more. (embarrassing stories to be continued!)

Once upon a time I thought girls went through so much more than boys in middle school and high school, but I was blessed with a son that showed me otherwise. The world challenges us equally, now I know. I am so grateful for the path that I have been given.  I've learned so much and to this day shake my head at the lessons I've learned.  I  can't believe how quickly time goes.

So it has been the past few days that we've decided to start planning for the next phase of our life.  We have been inspired by my husband's aunt and uncle that bought land in West Virginia when they were young (they are now retired and living our dream!)  We know we have 20+ years of work ahead of us (we didn't plan very well!) but wont be tied to a school district...so we've begun our search for a plot of land where we can eventually build our future home. (Dare I say a place where we invite our grandkids to run through our fields and pet the farm animals?)

More to come as our dream unfolds, but here's to the future.

I wish I knew you better...

Tonight is my 25th high-school reunion. Obviously, I'm not there.  I graduated with almost 700 kids so needless to say it was a pretty big class .  5 years ago I went to my 20th and it was nothing but fun.  I found myself in a couple (or more) of awkward side-ways glances (not the evil high-school look but the "I know you from somewhere" look).  I remember some great conversations.  When I revisited the Facebook event page weeks later, my husband (who did not graduate from my school) was in more pictures than me...not surprisingly. It was fun, but not the incredible reunion I only imagine some had. As much fun as I (we) had, I couldn't wait to go home to my family that night.

I guess it's the experience that dictates why some people want so hard to hold on to high-school and cant wait to go back (them) and why some want nothing more than to just move forward (me). 

I remember growing apart from my best friend from elementary school (things get so complicated when you are 11!) and then meeting my next best friend in middle school. I can't explain why we also grew apart. As awkward as it would be, (and I'm only guessing) I'm pretty sure I could call both of them and they would be there for me in a second if I needed them. Sometimes you have to put family first and only your best friends understand.

Looking back I know why I didn't have a close knit group of friends in high school...I met a boy from another school district when I was in 11th grade and he became my world, my high-school sweet heart (young love is so stupid.)  Instead of parties with my friends, I went to his house.  In lieu of partying at the river, or the pit, or just hanging out with friends, I was pre-occupied with him. I did have the pleasure of not having to worry about cliques, and didn't feel bad when I wasn't invited to  parties...I could care less....or could I?  Definitely no regrets, but a few, what ifs...

My life started when I met my husband, 2 years after the class of 1989 graduated.  Like most, I could fill up a library with stories of my last 25 years.  Most of my stories consist of how much I have learned from having a family.  My children, almost grown now, (20 and 16) have been the center of my life. I feel so far ahead of many in my class, and so lucky.

So tonight, as my husband of 23 years (no, he wasn't my high school sweet heart, I traded that guy in for so much better) and I start to plan the second phase of our life, (downsizing if you can believe it!) I think about the class of 1989 who are celebrating 25 years...have fun guys, I wish I knew some of you better. 

This is a letter that is going out to the restaurant that we went to for dinner tonight. Nothing against the restaurant owner, but hopefully some insight into how we need to treat each other. My dear friends that are so successful in the business could probably say this so much better than us.

Dear Owner,

My husband and I were in your restaurant this evening and enjoyed your food.  We only support local restaurants, rarely visiting the chains that have taken over our town.   We couldn’t decide on an entrée so we ended up ordering two house salads and three appetizers.  It was all delicious. We had wine and beer and our bill was over $80.00 with tip, so we certainly weren’t just taking up space. 

Your staff was friendly as soon as we walked in.   We were seated quickly and our service was exceptional.  Your quaint establishment made it easy to share our experience with the couples that were seated around us.  Through casual conversation, we found out that it was our waitress’s birthday.  For many reasons, some selfish, we wanted to sing to her. 

We approached the only other waitress on staff and acknowledged how busy she was, but asked her if we could buy a dessert and have the staff come out and sing with us. She said that she could bring us a dessert but couldn’t guarantee anything more.  We didn’t really understand this, but waited quite a while before we realized that we weren’t getting our (the birthday girl’s) dessert.  We paid our bill and eventually went to the bar.  It was at this time that we notified the other patrons that it was our waitress’s birthday and they were all excited to sing Happy Birthday.  They all did, and it was awesome!  I know everyone that sang felt great.  Your birthday girl had tears in her eyes.  I did too.

Again, for selfish reasons, tonight my husband and I were hoping for a little kindness and give back in the world.  It seemed like everyone that we were surrounded with was on board, but your staff.  We appreciate how busy the restaurant business is, (that’s where we met 20 years ago) but in every profession, and more importantly in everyday life, we would hope that we all could step back and take the time to appreciate and honor those around us.

We’re not sure if we’ll visit your establishment again.  With the exception of our waitress, we were left with a profound sense of indifference from your staff.  

Regards,

Table #?

Trying to put things in perspective

I put my "out of office" on at 7:00 p.m. tonight and noticed that I haven't done that since December 16, 2013.  Tomorrow Harry and I start our "Stay-cation" attending a funeral for a wonderful volunteer. We'll have the next three work days off, plus the weekend.  I often recall the sentiments of a co-worker/mentor, "it's not work/life balance anymore, it's work life integration."  Harry worked 12 days straight last week.

I love my life, I've worked hard for what I have and I believe in what I do. Harry puts everything he has into his job...but I will seriously be working harder to make sure we have balance in our life. I'm not sure what that means yet.  Perhaps we'll buy a farm.

Summing up 3 days!

Disclaimer!  This blog is for me, not you...ok, it's a little bit for you.   I want you to like it and read it and maybe walk away with a little smile.  I will always try to be positive and find a little bit of a lesson in each and every day.  Life is a gift.  I'm not a professional writer. I'll make grammatical errors, misspell words, and auto correct will turn pennies into penis.   That will make me laugh, hopefully you will too.   

Wednesday:  I got my hair did!  How funny is it that Harry and I take so many measures to save money... we even make our own soap and laundry detergent (seriously....we do!  We haven't paid more than $10 for laundry detergent in the past 2 years), but I think nothing of paying a small fortune to dye my roots and "shape up" my hair!?!  I'll never forget when my mom (my idol) said to me, "Your hair defines you"...it was a great compliment and a great reminder of all of the crazy hair decisions I've made.   When I was in 8th grade I shaved the side of my head (Cindy Lauper style) and felt empowered.  Since then, I've had my hair long, short, mostly all different shades of blonde, mullet, 80's super big hair, 90's short Pat Benatar, the classic Bob, the inverted bob, and every other style that may have been trendy depending on the length I had at the time.  Yep, my hair defines me...crazy, trendy and ready for the next new style!

Thursday: Back to family! An actual sit down dinner after Harry's crazy work week and me feeling a little lonely. He works so hard.  It was good to catch up with Mackenzie and her boyfriend who had been going through a bit of his own sadness this week.  Family always brings things into perspective.  Oh, and I'm not sure if it was the video, the company or the mood I was in, but please Google "woman trying to fit into jeans" and have a laugh of your own.  Women will appreciate this more than men. Lesson: laugh!

Friday (Tonight): So grateful to have summer hours where I can get out 1/2 day on Fridays. I worked out for an hour, sat in the sun and cooked some burgers (93% fat free) before we went to see our son sing at camp...but we didn't...we did get to see the amazing string ensemble! Ian wasn't singing tonight (oops, should have read the email...parents: READ THE EMAIL!!), but we did get to talk to him and it seems like he's doing really, really great.

The last few days have been filled with so many lessons that I'm not sure where to start and 5 paragraphs deep, I'm pretty sure I should stop.  The common thread is: love, family and individuality. I'm off to watch the last half of "Frozen" with my daughter and husband. Till next time...

Too much, so I'll just make a list...

If there was ever a day to post a blog, today would be the day...but I can't come up with a common theme and pull all of my thoughts together, so I'll just make a list of what I could have posted about today.  I may or may not get to these in the future:

1. Life - enjoy it, relish it...seriously (common theme of every post, sorry, not sorry, I love life.)
2. Death - in the summed up words of a dear friend (K-Mac), it's sometimes sad but not tragic...and sometimes both sad and tragic - I've experienced both in the past week.
3. Legacy - some want it, some could care less
4. Kissing my daughter on the cheek vs. air kissing - so glad I rethought my decision this morning.
5. Cards Against Humanity with your friends take precedence over talking with your Mom while you're away at camp - and I'm OK with that.
6. My mom - she influences and is a part of every post, she is everything I am and do
7. Cats and warrantees - a lesson from West Virginia
8. Prank Calls - yes they still exist.
9. Compliments make you feel so good...give them often
10.  Apparently you don't have to put a double space after a period anymore.  I'm not embracing this.

I could go on, but I wont. (You're welcome.)  But what I will say is that I am learning each and every moment of my life is a story unfolding...a lesson to be learned.  I take nothing for granted.  I go to bed tonight thanking God for what I have and knowing that I've worked HARD to create my present, my gift.  The venture continues!

Right of passage and knowing your limits

This morning I had this day scripted in my mind...so much, that I put it in writing.  But, I didn't post it and now as I review what I put in words at the beginning of the day, I will do my best to compare my earlier thoughts with reality...enjoy!

8:30 a.m.: As I sit in a quiet house, sipping coffee, contemplating my list of "to do's", I can only imagine the stories he will have forever that begin with, "One time at music camp..." -

Reality at 7:21 p.m.: I am now sipping a glass of wine, most of my "to do's" completed, and I still can't wait to hear the stories that I know he'll have.

8:40 a.m.: Today we bring our son to a 2 week, overnight, pre-college experience, music academy camp at the College of St. Rose. It's going to be a great experience for him, I know. 

Reality: I'm more sure of this than ever!  We saw familiar faces, made his bed, unpacked his clothes, sent him on his way to watch the end of the World Cup (GO DEUTSCHLAND) and have some pizza with the kids he'll be spending the next 2 weeks with. I hope Nicholas G. is a great roommate.  (we didn't' meet him but saw his name on the dorm door with Ian's.)  We're assuming he's part of the basketball camp based on the sneakers we saw under his dorm bed.  Good luck Nicholas G.  You have a hell of a roommate.

8:42 a.m.: For me it will mean a few more grays (thank God for my upcoming hair appointment) and some deeper wrinkles.

Reality: Pretty sure a few more grays popped up already, I've been checking and comparing!

8:45 a.m.: You see, not only do I get to worry about the normal neurotic mom stuff, (him making friends, fitting in, feeling confident) I get to worry about broken bones.  For every trait I had to pass along, this is one that I wish I could control...but I cant.  Blonde hair, blue eyes, brittle bones...it is what it is.

Believe me, this isn't a pity party, this is a right of passage...a time to relinquish a little control and get a sneak peak of what the future feels like. We never forget that in the grand scheme of things, we have it really, really good.  I know there are many (too many) families that face so much worse and we consider ourselves lucky.  More than lucky, we, as a family, are blessed.

Reality:  See above.

8:50 a.m.: Never the less, he'll role his eyes at me when I remind him to be careful on the stairs, (Really, mom?)

Reality: He hugged me and said, "you too!", I choked up.

8:51 a.m.: I'll ask him to remember his limits when he participates in "outdoor activities" (as stated on his schedule). He'll shake his head at me and probably be a little pissed when I remind him to tell a camp counselor if he feels uncomfortable participating in a specific activity, (they wont have potato sack races at music camp, will they?  Oh, geeze, another gray!) 

Reality: He assured me he would be careful, not in a snotty teenage way, but a mature, "I get it, mom" kind of way...it seemed like he knew I needed him to assure me....Although, he was a bit pissed about the opera performance that he'll be doing on Thursday, the party scene from Die Fledermaus...I read him an email from his vocal coach about what to expect as we drove to camp and he wasn't expecting to be in an opera scene...we'll see how this one plays out :).

And now: Hubby and I sit home, alone, (our daughter will be home at some point tonight so we wont be walking around naked, a common joke/threat we've been using) watching America's Funniest Home Videos and now Wipeout. (I know, right?) We had a nice dinner at a local pub, we have a list started on what we need to drop off to our son (a razor, phone charger, hacky sack) and we're planning some fun things to do over the next couple of weeks. Stay tuned for our continued ventures!

Back at it!

5 years ago I began a blog that lasted a little over a month.  At that time I thought I was ready to share my thoughts with the world (or whoever wanted to read them).  When you open yourself up you need to be ready for comments, jokes and judgment (good and bad)...I guess I wasn't.  I never realized how sensitive I was, after all, for those who know me know I consider myself a turtle and let everything roll off my back! But 5 years more...eh hem..."mature"...and just  a little prodding from a person that back on 7/17/09 "made my day", I am going to try this once again.

My life hasn't so much changed in 5 years as it has evolved.  My 15 year old daughter then, will be a senior in college next month.  My 11 year old son then, is now learning to drive, has a girlfriend and is starting to talk about college.  (He'll be so happy that he'll be a subject of future blogs!)  Hubby still makes my day, dogs still chew my shoes, we bought 2 new cars,...we've lost a cat and a bird, but gained another cat and a bearded dragon.(Stories that may make great future blog posts!)  I've lost some friends (that I still think about all of the time) and gained new ones. I've held on to my best friends without a doubt...they know who they are. 

Health and wellness have become a passion of mine, we garden more, eat better and still love life...every day.  We have new challenges and more things to appreciate. 

Tonight we celebrate my mother's 71st birthday.  I can't wait to hug her.  I am blessed to have such an amazing woman as my mom.  There is so much to say about Theo Jean, that to tack it on to the end of this reintroduction would be a disservice.  Stay tuned for more about her, and us, as I continue to document the "Cohn Chronicles".