You are exactly where you should be...

Over 8 years ago I started working for the American Heart Association. I believe I got hired for my sales experience and relationship building skills. But, it was an 18 year journey that brought me to interview and qualify for that job, now my passion, and a job that is fueling my own entrepreneurial endeavor.

I graduated high school in 1989 and had absolutely no idea what i wanted to be when I grew up. I liked people, I was good in math, and I was a hell of a waitress. I attended a local community college, met the love of my life, graduated and got married.

My first "big girl" job (I was 20) was as a teacher's assistant at a school for emotionally disturbed children. The pre-teen and teenage girls that I grew to know and love were not only taller than me but more experienced in life than I would ever know and understand. It wasn't my job to know what they had been through or what had brought them to this group home, but I over heard their stories. Some were brought up in cages, some brutally abused in ways that was inconceivable to me. I loved them all so much but my love was not enough. They were all so angry and when one threatened to kick me in my stomach and kill my baby when I was 8 months pregnant (at this time I was married, 23 years old and still making minimum wage...$6.35 at the time?), I knew it was time find something new.

It was 1994 and computers were starting to become main stream. I was the "go to" person at my job in the group home/school when we received a grant and each classroom received a computer. I set them all up and installed the software to get them up and running. I attached the printers and gave tutorials...and then I got a new job.

I went from a Teachers Assistant, where I was kind of the boss in a way, to the secretary for the secretaries at a local health insurance agency. I sat in a cubicle for the first time and got to make copies and put together binders for company trainings. I took notes at meetings and will never forget the time I misspelled "role", (I spelled it "roll")...I was made fun of for a while, I'll never make that mistake again.  I laughed with the other secretaries when we saw the CEO pick his nose and eat it (seriously), and I had a mentor, the presidents secretary. She once gave me a purple wool skirt suit. The blazer was a bit bulky and the skirt went to my ankles. I hemmed the skirt to about 4 inches above my knee and threw away the blazer...she probably wouldn't be proud.

After a merger, I learned that I was losing my job...apparently the secretaries didn't really need a secretary, go figure! I had friends in high places though, so I was relieved to know that they had set me up for a job in data entry...that lasted less than a week. I would rather be out of a job then be timed and graded on how many numbers I could enter on a keyboard in an hour.

And so, I bounced for a bit and eventually found myself face to face with a decision to move to Georgia with my husband and our soon to be 3 year old daughter...if there was ever a perfect time to take a leap, this was it, and so we did. I loved Georgia. We'll go back some day. I was lucky enough to settle ourselves in to our new state and be home with our daughter for a few months. But time and money was starting to run out...and so I got a job, and then another, and then one more...my third job in Georgia was my turning point.

I went from a sales assistant to a sales representative for a company that was downsizing. I covered a small market in Georgia (excluding Atlanta) and all of Alabama selling recording tape. (Yes, the magnetic media known as reel to reel and cassette tape). Fast forward and our company downsized even more. I was transferred to New Jersey and my territory was Manhattan and then it expanded even further. I was just 28 years old and schmoozing with major record and recording studio executive, I had no idea what I was doing, a bit over my head, traveling from Manhattan to Detroit, to Boston to Chicago...I decided to take a step back. I floundered through a couple of jobs in sales and marketing and I landed at Nextel Partners, a cell phone company that was on the bleeding edge of technology. I was there for 4 years and would have stayed forever. I loved it. I was an indirect account rep. I was the liaison to Nextel and their independent dealers. I found my niche, I was pretty good at it and I thought I was in-disposable...but I wasn't. I was soon a victim of another merger.

And so all of this lead me to my job with the American Heart Association. When I applied I felt it was a perfect fit. My love of life, my human services background and my sales and relationship building skills were everything I needed to be a successful fundraiser. I've had my successes and my challenges in fundraising. I have grown to appreciate how precious life is and how although we have little control over certain things, we have some control of our health and wellness. The American Heart Association says that 80% of heart disease is preventable. So lifestyle and healthy choices have become so important to me that I want to help others.

Here is where the story ends, or begins...I am launching my own wellness classes this week. I think I have a great message, I know I have a kick ass workout. I hope I can inspire others. My life, at 44 years old is still evolving. I am still growing. Everything that has happened in my life leading up to this has set me up for my next challenge. I'm exactly where I should be

But the pizza was REALLY good!

My last post talked a little about disappointment and trying to find the positive and bright side of situations you can’t control.  Two days later and we’re not over it, (because I don’t think you get “over” things in life…I think you work through them, learn and take away), but we’re definitely on the better side of “through” it today.  

I'm recalling the memory of so many other children that we passed in the hospital hallways that seemed to be fighting a battle much worse than ours. I remember the code blue that happened on our floor that one time and all I can remember were swarms of hospital personnel running through the floor and our door being closed. I also remember that young couple crying in the hallway together, dealing with something I don’t even want to imagine. For those reasons (and so many more) I try to continually count my blessings and appreciate the little things.

Here is a short list of some of my "favorite things” that help me appreciate all I have (in no particular order, except for #1). I encourage you to make a list of all of the little things in life that make you happy…go to this list when things get tough…and if you can’t think of anything than for God’s sake, go and visit a 3^rd world country.

1.  Family – no explanation needed. Mom. Dad. Sister. Brother. Husband. Children. Nieces and nephews. In-laws (which are categorized under sister and brother, mother and father). Extended family. Work Family. Friends that I consider family.
2.  Frank Pepe’s Coal Fired Pizza – we always made sure we visited this awesome restaurant each time we took Ian out for a bone infusion. We never had a bad experience at this place and it was the one thing we looked forward to each time. It got us through. If you’ve never had coal fired pizza (which is non existent in upstate New York) you are truly missing out. God bless coal fired pizza.
3. Dogs – we got our Oreo over 14 years ago and Elvis 8 years ago. They love each of us (and all of our faults) unconditionally.
4. Cats – we’ve had 3 that have stolen our hearts. Chaka Cohn, Chocolate Chip and our current love, Walter.
5.  Dubsmash – try it, it’s pretty freaking fun.
6. A king size bed – 17 years ago when I was pregnant for Ian, Mackenzie at 4 years old climbed in our bed EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! So, we got a king size bed just before Ian was born (thanks, Mom!) and we’ve never looked back!
7. White wine – enough said.
8. A decent credit score – we’ve worked really hard for this.  I was 20, Harry was 23 when we got married. I was making minimum wage and he was a line cook at a restaurant. What were we thinking? That’s what my parents asked. We made all the mistakes a young married couple could make. But we’re here now. Happy and stable. 
9. A good workout – there is nothing like a heart pumping, muscle burning workout…so empowering.
10. Hope.

                                                             May you find happy.

I wish we had better news...

This is not what we want to hear from a specialist that has been treating our son for the past 2 ½ years. I will also say, that it’s not the worst thing we could have heard. In our family, we find the good in everything and this situation is no different….however, it’s not to say that we won’t take a moment and feel our disappointment.

As most people that follow this blog know, our 17 year old son has osteogenisis imperfecta (OI), otherwise known as brittle bone disease. He gets his nearsightedness from his dad along with his strong jaw line and political views…he gets his bones from me.

When I was growing up, management of the disease was key. Eat calcium rich foods, take a supplement and don’t put yourself into positions where you could get hurt (no skiing, skating, etc..). It has been a way of life and mostly why I focus on fitness and controlling what I can to stay healthy. Weight baring activities are also encouraged.

When Ian turned 13, he had a growth spurt that made his bones vulnerable to breaks. We (he) had a femur fracture, 2 vertebrae fractures and a scapula fracture in the matter of 2 years. We sought out a specialist to see if anything could be done. We started with our orthopedist who connected us with a specialist and then another…eventually we found an endocrinologist who has a special interested in OI.

Long story super short, we have been going to Connecticut Children’s Hospital for the past 2 years (once every 6 months) to get a special infusion that has shown promising results in OI patients. Over the past 2 years, we (and I really mean our son) have endured many hours of waiting, needle sticks, blood draws, student lab techs taking 7 pricks to get to the vein, screams on the floor we’re treated on, a code blue (not us), hospital food, the same questions asked 17 times by different specialists, etc….And today was the day we got some answers…what has the past 2 years done for us (him, or son).

Things are pretty much the same…we were shown graphs, percentages and our “Z score”…but the bottom line is things are pretty much just as they were 2 years ago…I didn’t deny our son the right to feel disappointed (aka f'ing pissed). He (and we) certainly have the right to our feelings. We had hoped for at least a little improvement, some sign that the past 2 years of treatment weren’t for nothing.

So we’re relying on the hope that if we didn’t go through what we did than perhaps things may have gotten worse. We are holding on to that. I’ve been told in business “hope is not a strategy”, but I would say hope certainly has its place here. As disappointed as we are that we didn’t have bone growth, we didn’t have deterioration either…and that, my friends is a positive. Let's face it, we're not fighting cancer.

We were told to follow the OI Foundation’s website and keep up to date on the latest treatments…there are many promising therapies that could be offered soon. Ian is encouraged to build bone with a diet rich in calcium and vitamin D and increase his weight baring exercises. (Diet and exercise is the best medicine for everything in my book).

So with that, I’ll leave you with my jumbled mess of what is running through my head tonight,,. Until next time…and I’m certain it will be awesomely awesome. Cheers.

What's the lesson?

In life, we're always told to find the lesson. Grow and learn from hardships. When one door closes, another one opens...everything happens for a reason...make lemonade out of lemons...I embrace this philosophy, my family has certainly been dealt with our fair share of "life"...I will always look for the lesson and try and grow as a person.

Yesterday I was presented with a scenario that I can't find meaning to...a co-worker from another state who was traveling through ours to tend to a sad family tragedy stopped at our office.  This woman (and her daughter and sister) in grief, had a story that has me so sad.  Without going into detail, there are just some things that are unexplained and there may not be any lesson to learn...perhaps the lesson (if there is one...and I'm reaching) is to just accept what is and to try not to find answers.

With the advice from a beautiful co-worker, (you know who you are KS) I am not going to try and find meaning in this tragedy, I will just sit with it. I will accept that I can't, and never could change the outcome of certain situations. Big sighs tonight and sweet blessings to my friends and family.

Live every day.
MC

Blue Hair, Strep Throat and a Drug Deal

I'm pulling this draft from the archives as I've debated whether or not to post it. This is from about 3 months ago. Obviously my emotions were a lot higher than they are now. Enjoy!

February, 2015

There's been so much, yet so little, going on these past few months that writing it all down seemed like just one more thing to do...this week warrants a post.  At the risk of embarrassing both of my children, I will try to be gentle, kind and perhaps a bit ambiguous. I (and they) have some messages to share, so I hope I do them justice as I write this post.

I'll start with the blue hair. I have never argued over hair. It's mine and yours to do what you wish. "be warned", I've always said, "if you put yourself out there, you will be pointed out". And so, after fair warning, my 16 year old son dyed his hair blue...yes blue, bright smurf - like blue.  Well, he didn't do it...a very experienced stylist from one of the most prestigious salon's in our area did it, and we (dad and me) paid a premium for it...but it's the most beautiful blue hair I've ever seen. All the girls at the salon were so excited. They took pictures and everything...you see this was so much more fun than highlights and low-lights and covering up grays!  :) "Be confident", I said. "People will talk about you or make fun of you", I warned.

Now on to strep throat. Yuck, right? Top it off with the worst cold and cough you can imagine. My bones rattled as my poor baby girl (21 years old) dealt with this unfortunate illness this week.  I'm happy she's close enough to come home for a couple of nights to get better. Sickness coupled with a heavy senior semester work load and some young adult, real life things going on that she has to deal with and, well, as much as we all wish we were 21 again, I think we all tend to forget how much stuff there may be to deal with at that age.

On to the drug deal...take a blue haired boy (my son) and a boy that may have skipped a class or two and wears an over-sized coat (my son's friend)...add a hand shake (something that apparently isn't done too often in high-school), toss in a judgmental 3rd party and watch how quickly this is turned into an "exchange"...yes, that is the phone call I received this week. My world stopped for a few moments.

And then I came to my senses...I have no doubt, for so many reasons, that my son was not involved in an "exchange". It could be a combination of the conversations we've had (both before and after this accusation), the observation of his social life, his lack of access to money, his openness to us being in his backpack, his game room, and bedroom (more for looking for homework assignments than drugs!) I'm not the mom that says, "not my kid"..but this time, I'm on my kid's side. I don't know who or what this faculty or staff member thought she saw in the halls of my son's high school, but I'm happy and pleased to report that there were 2 pencils, a pair of ear buds and an orange peel that was revealed when the boys were asked to empty their pockets.

Back to strep...I dropped my daughter back to school this morning and I'm not sure if she realized I dropped a little piece of myself with her...as I do every time I drop her off to college. But she is getting better and will do fine, I know this. And whatever life throws her way, she will thrive, she is strong. 

As for the boy with the blue hair, who we jokingly call "the drug dealer", (sorry for mocking you, school administration) well, this was the last straw after being involved in a very hurtful (pre-blue hair) verbal "exchange" with some kids a few weeks ago. He has asked to finish his his last year of high school in a different school district. So as parents we're faced with the decision to tell our kid to suck it up, be strong and carry on, because this is life...or give him one last chance as a high-schooler to wipe the slate clean and see what will be.

Fast forward: May, 2015

Still dealing with all of this...hence this post. Stay tuned!